Peanut Butter Jelly Time ! ! !

Another installment for your enjoyment. Sorry for the week off, but our fingers were tired from typing so much.

I present to you the best ever (probably), one and only (it's not, I checked), uniquely creative (absolutely), Peanut Butter Jelly Time Sandwich Shoppe! It is so profound and extraordinary that we even had to fancy up the name.

Due to my recent inability to draw income from any source, I have had to utilize a very minimalistic menu when it comes to my diet. Because of this peanut butter sandwiches have become a staple. And I must say that it has developed into an art. I think it goes without saying that you can only eat one thing for so long before you abhor it forever. Yea, yea I know everyone has those foods that they say they could eat any time, any day for the rest of their lives, but really?? It can't be done. People need variety to some degree. And because of this innate need, I found myself pushing the envelope on the possibilities of Peanut Butter.

Thanks to my main man George Washington Carver, we have this bountiful resource available for a relatively cheap price. Not only delicious, it satisfies cravings unlike any other. Sweet and salty at the same time, it goes great with any kind of bread or cracker, and can be both crunchy or velvety smooth. It is a wonder that no one has pushed this miracle food to the limit. That's where we come in.

As I was sitting in my extremely blank canvas of an apartment the other day, I felt a rumblin' in my tummy. Instinctively I walked to the refrigerator and opened the door only to find some yogurt, milk, and eggs. I wasn't really in the mood for eggs and yogurt wouldn't fill me up so I decided on a PB sandwich. I had some bananas that had just hit there peak stage of ripeness so I decided to throw those on there as well. I paused after cutting them wondering if there was anything else I could use to make this sandwich even more special. There was! I drizzled a delicate layer of honey on top and then sat down to enjoy. Each bite was heavenly. Only after I had finished did I murmur out loud, "You just can't get this in a store." LIGHT BULB!

So think about all of the sandwich shops you've ever been to. I bet not a single one of them had peanut butter as an option. If it was, it was probably on the kids menu and was as basic as could be. I think it's safe to say that there aren't many people that couldn't go for a peanut butter sandwich every once in a while. I mean, even Elvis ate them until he died on the toilet, probably pooping them out to make room for more. It has been a foundation of our culture and has been used so many different ways throughout our culinary history. So, with that being said, it is time to take the next step.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time offers a wide selection of peanut butter sandwich options. Think of all the different combinations of jelly's and different types of peanut butter. And that doesn't include all of the different bread choices and accessories. Chocolate, Bananas, Apples, Honey, Walnuts, Pecans, if you want it, we will provide it. It is a revolutionary idea in the world of sandwich making. Perhaps, my favorite idea thus far.

Upon further research, there exists a place similar to this. Peanut Butter & Co. is located in New York and focuses on peanut butter sandwiches and also has others like tuna and chicken salad. After reading reviews and browsing the menu, there are obvious fundamental flaws in its design. Granted, it seems to be a trendy and unique little spot and we have to give them props for establishing the idea. However, it's very overpriced and very eclectic. What makes our idea different is the home grown feel as well as the menu flexibility. Rather than put stuff like bacon and carrots on our sandwiches, we have decided to make 'em good instead of just weird. So yea... we get that there is a place like ours already in existence. But ours will be peanut better.

What makes PBJT uniquely different:

1. We offer the consumer the option to build his or her own sandwich, and also the option to create their very own to add to the menu.

2. You certainly won't have to pay $8 for a sandwich that you could make at home for 50 cents.

3. We are strictly peanut butter based. Pretty much everything on the menu contains peanut butter. If you don't like it, then go to Jersey Mike's.

4. The taste is in the details. We realize that there is a big difference between Peter Pan, Reese's, and Skippy. We provide as many different brands as possible because we know that, "Choosy moms don't always choose Jif."

5. Do we serve Nutella? Hell no. That's made from our arch rival, the hazelnut.

6. We are Paula Dean to all the Giada de Laurentiis out there. Rather than fancy and trendy, we focus on more of an at home, southern hospitality approach.

And don't you dare forget about the desert menu. Options include Peanut Butter Pie, Peanut Butter Applesauce and definitely be sure to indulge in our PB Dream. Peanut butter ice cream with melted peanut butter and chocolate sauce oozing all over the top. Thanks to my momma for that one.

Everyone, it seems, has a different peanut butter sandwich recipe. A sandwich that they have perfected over the years in their own unique way. If you don't have anything better to do, send them to us and we promise that when we have enough capital to open Peanut Butter Jelly Time, we will add your sandwich to the menu and put your name on it! I am going to try to figure out a way that we can post a menu to the blog and add everyone's recipes as we get them. That is if anyone actually sends us any. And I hate to say it, but the Abraham (Jiff Crunchy, Bananas, and Honey on Pepperidge Farm Oatmeal Bread) is already taken.

Oil Shuttles

Let me start by encouraging all our readers out there to constantly be thinking of ideas. We will read and look into any ideas we are sent. Believe me, we have come up with some of the stupidest things you could think of, but without the bad ones, we wouldn’t come up with a lot of out good ones. So please keep thinking of ideas and email us at abe.hop@gmail or on facebook.
This idea hit me this past week. I went in to get my oil changed because you are suppose to every 3,000 miles and I was pushin 4,500 since my last one. I go to the oil changing station and they tell me it is going to take an hour and a half. Really? I’ve gone to express oil changing place one time and it took 15 min, and they vacuumed out my car. I guess they had just started Wall E in the back and were trying to figure out if there was ever going to be any dialogue. Oh well there is a Target a mile and a half up the street, I’ll just drive… oh wait they need my car to change my oil. I also do not want to sit watching tv on the Spanish network in a steel chair. I ended up walking. It sucked, I was sweating and tired, not to mention I had to carry bags on the way back.


( I have yet to go into Target and not buy anything. It is almost like they have subliminal messages convincing people they really do need that non stick pan to make grilled cheeses in.)


Anyways, that is when it hit me, why do these places not have shuttle services? Some might already but this needs to be a necessity, especially to those places that have shopping near them. If I was in charge at the Firestone, I would go to Target and ask them if they would pay $100 a month for gas to shuttle customers to and from Target. Why would they say no to getting people that are bored into their store everyday that probably wouldn’t come? This is the best money they could spend on advertising unless they could get the real Don Draper to play around with that little target symbol. Shopping centers, restaurants, and other places of business would probably love the chance to throw a little cash at oil changing places in order to get people in. Oil changing places would like to get the bored, annoyed, pissed off customers out of the store so every 10 minutes the employees aren’t getting ask how close their car is to being done. Finally the customer wants this service because they would much rather spend time carousing the bed and linen department then trying to see if they can beat the high score of [fill in name of Ipod game here].


Why stop there though? Why not make it convenient for the people who really need it? I’m talking about those multitasking people who work a full time job and have a family they would like to join in watching what crazy adventures Uncle Charlie on Two and a Half Men are up to this week. They should offer a service to come pick up your car, change the oil, and return your car to your place of work. This offers them a deal where they pay a certain fee and get their oil changed without having to worry about getting back late to work, or having to eat the last egg salad sandwich left at the 7-11. I feel like this would take off faster than Usain Bolt. In fact, it might become so popular the lube places might have to hire people strictly for shuttling. Now we are talking about helping the unemployment rate in this country. You’re welcome Mr. Obama. Here at Borderline Genius Ideas, Inc., we are taking care of the world’s problems one issue at a time.

The Bathroom App

From what I hear, there is an app for everything. From stealing people's butterfingers to Angry Birds, you would think that the companies have got it all covered when it comes to making life a little less stressful and a little more enjoyable. However, you would think wrong!

Today, I stumbled upon an idea that would fill a need for society as a whole and can indeed make some bucks. Imagine you are on a road trip. Nature calls. What usually happens next? For pretty much everyone, you find the nearest roadside gas station to number 1 and/or 2 in and refill on Mike and Ikes and Mountain Dew, thus completing the cycle. Now... imagine your average po-dunk gas station bathroom. If you're lucky they have a toilet seat and colorful writings on the wall from the local gangs and vagabonds, which always makes for great bathroom reading. Occasionally you hit the jackpot with a public restroom, though. You get all the amenities. Touch free sinks and towel dispensers, foaming hand soap, and two-ply toilet paper are always bonuses in making your experience more enjoyable. However, these diamonds in the rough are only found on luck alone. That is until someone creates The Bathroom App.

This is exactly what happened to me today. As I was driving back to Nashville, I had to make a pit stop. So I walk in to this gas station while Apu points me to the restroom where I then enter and get on to taking care of business. It's the usual craphole (pun intended) smelling like pee and vomit. I have a thing about public toilets. I don't trust them at all. I always go through the same routine every time I have to sit on one. I soap up some toilet paper and proceed to sterilize the seat before laying a solid layer of toilet paper on it. So after I've finished all of that, I sit down only to notice a hole in the door where the doorknob should go. I look through it for about a minute until, of course, according to Murphy's Law the next logical thing happens. I see an eye. So here I am, at my most vulnerable, getting peeked in on by some stranger (turned out to be a little kid) as I think to myself there has got to be a better way.

The mouse in my head jumped on his wheel and started running. About 5 minutes later, I had a solution. Why not have a cell phone app that accesses a user reviewed, up-datable database containing locations for clean restrooms throughout the world? With all of the technology out there and apps for just about everything, there is no reason that we shouldn't already have this in place. All you would need to do is either type in a location or have the GPS locator on and it would give a list of the highest rated bathrooms nearby. I did a little bit of research and couldn't find anything like this. I did find a website devoted to bathroom ratings, but an app would be hands down a better utilization. No doubt this would be revolutionary! Not only could it be utilized on roadtrips, but it could also be helpful in any public setting. Let's face it, anytime that you are away from home, you may have to drop a deuce. Hey, for $1.99, you can at least have the choice to do it in a somewhat clean environment.

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On a side note, I've had a bunch of people ask me about the blog, "What happens if someone steals your ideas?" That is exactly what we want to happen. There is no way in hell I am going to sit down and spend countless hours learning how to create an iPhone app that finds clean bathrooms. It would be great but I just don't care about it that much. All of the things we come up with on here would help us in our everyday lives but all we are doing is pitching the idea. We want other people to take these ideas and run with them, because if they succeed then we benefit along with everyone else. We will simply take pleasure in knowing that we were the geniuses that had the idea and that's plenty good for us. And if you feel bad for making money off our ideas, we will obviously take donations.

Cereal Flavored Milk

When I was a kid I would wake up every morning super early to watch cartoons. After wiping the crust from my eyes, I would climb on the counter to retrieve a bowl which would contain my nutrients for the day. Sugar, cinnamon, marshmallows, and the like would provide me with the energy I would need to make it to elementary school awakened and refreshed, only to crash around lunchtime where I would get my next fix from push pops. Regardless, I not only relied on my cereal but I also cherished it like I would a treasure chest full of rubies and pearls. It was delicious and satisfying to the very last bite and then the best part awaited me as I spooned the tasty milk to my mouth. Such was my morning routine between the ages of 4 and 18.

I always drank the milk. I think it might be because I can't stand the sight of something left on a plate. Even if I'm full I will finish my food. Whatever. I don't care. It's my survival instinct. Every cereal carried with it a different unique ending. Whether it be the silky smooth chocolaty Cocoa Puff finale or the cinnamony sweet Cinnamon Toast Crunch suprise, they all had some sort of individualized flair that added excitement to each increasingly close bite. When I think back on those years, I can only say that they were the best years of my life. Who's to say that my post cereal milk wasn't the sole reason behind that? Not only delicious, I believe that it added to my ever increasing size and unsurpassed bone strength through pre and post pubescent development. But wait! It only gets better... When I was growing up, there were only a hand full of cereals that were worth eating. Count Chocula, Lucky Charms, Cookie Crisp to name a few nostalgic influences on my life. These days its hard for me not to spend a half hour just browsing the cereal isle. So with the ever increasing amount of taste bud heaven that exists in our grocery stores today, milk is just begging to see this idea play out. All we have to do is combine these ingredients and throw it on the dairy isle and watch as the billions of dollars roll in.

So why do we have to limit our taste with chocolate and strawberry when there are so many other untapped milk flavor possibilities? I mean, c'mon, Nestle Quick tastes like crap and sand mixed together and somehow it has made it. It's only logical to think that Cereal Flavored Milk would give that silly rabbit a run for his money.

Don't Pee the Pool!

Since moving to Texas, I have realized a few things. A) Everything is not bigger here. In fact everything seems to be around the same size as everywhere else. B) People in Dallas ask me, “What are these hills you speak of?” So I make them wiki it and look at pictures. C) It is hotter than Kurt Busch’s tires on the 400th lap at Bristol. Yes this summer has been very hot all over the US. Like many others, I find myself trying to go to the nearest watering hole in order to have a good time with friends and also be able to stay cool.

Recently, while sitting at the pool, I realized there were a couple things wrong with how uncomfortable I was. The chairs and ground were so hot that I could not spend 30 seconds in contact with them without feeling like I had seared my skin. I needed something to protect me for the 5 min I was outside of the water. I have since come up with 2 ideas to help you relax even if you can cook raw chicken on the ground ala Cousin Eddie on Vegas Vacation.

This first idea just is a way to improve beach towels. Even though I’m not Yao Ming, I am somewhat tall. My problem with the towels is a couple things. First it is never long enough. Second when I am sitting up in a pool chair it is falling down, or if I’m lucky I have to “tuck in” my towel if the chair is constructed in a way that I can. Two easy solutions to these problems: for the first one, make the towels longer. Most pool chairs I’ve come across have been fairly close to the same length. Why can’t towel producers figure this out? It is like the old 8 hot dogs, 12 buns conundrum. I do not understand this at all. Let’s just take a nice sample of pool chairs, see how long the longest one is, and start producing towels at that length. Has anyone ever complained because there were a couple inches extra hanging over the end of their pool chair? Didn’t think so. As for them falling down all the time, we will just put 2 slots on each end where removable hooks can go in order to keep the towel up. The hooks slip in and out easily for convenience (No one wants to be drying off and feel like someone is fishing and they just got caught). Does this help with the heat at all? No, but for the 5 minutes you can endure in 110° heat, you at least will have a very warm, but colder and more bearable place to rest.

The next is an invention of a new chair altogether. This chair is set up like your normal pool chair but this one has small tubes running all along the top with water in them. Next to each chair there is a tube that the chair can connect to that runs cool pool water thru it and out the other end back into the pool. This does not have to be very complicated, Just a series of tubing with a small pump with an on and off switch. You go out, make sure the chair is connected and turn the pump on. It might take 5 or 10 minutes to get down to a nice relaxed temperature, but from then on you are golden.

So there are two simple ways to improve your time at the sweltering hot pool. Now remember kids wear sunscreen. If I could offer you one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientist, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

BGI Going Green - Coffee Straws and Pootie Pants

After nearly a month and a half of not using my brain for anything, I have decided to gradually resurrect myself back to consciousness. With my creative juices flowing and the will to do something somewhat meaningful, I sit here staring at a blank page hoping that the words will flow from mind to my keyboard with ease. It has been a while since our last post. Forgive us for not caring enough. Luckily I have been able to store a little info in my head over the past 90 days and have a couple of pretty good ideas for everyone to ponder and discuss. So since we have been incognito for quite a while, we're coming to you with two scoops of idea goodness and I really think that these are actually decent enough to catch on, imho.

IDEA 1: Pre-Loaded Coffee Straws (A Collaborative effort between Paul Dickenson and I)

So the story behind this is simple, therefore all aspects of the story have been embellished for entertainment purposes. On a recent trip to the wilderness in search of new sources of clean energy, Paul and I came across a lonely man. "What troubles you sir?", we inquired. He simply stared at the ground with a glassy look in his eye as though he were hovering in a mental purgatory, completely unaware of our presence. Paul and I glanced at each other, not really knowing what to do next when he turned and slowly walked away. Befuddled, we sat down to reflect on our encounter.

After what appeared to be endless silence, I broke in. "Ummm... yeah. So, huh?" The question was rhetorical, we both knew. For the answer was obvious... The poor guy was just really tired. Tired of not having a solution to his problem of being tired. This man, we would come to learn through repeated psychological evaluation, was once a man of extreme importance. He traveled the world giving lectures to enhance and solve the world's crises. And he was damn good at it. At the point we first encountered him, he had solved 39 total crises and was on pace for 16 more by the end of the fiscal year. However, he had hit a wall.

We soon would realize the story behind this man's downfall. After years of traveling the globe and staying in hotel after dreaded hotel, he had become reliant on Hotel Lobby Coffee to stay sharp throughout the day. He was a man of precision and efficiency, however the time it took him to make coffee in the mornings had gradually worn him down into nothingness. In need of a revival, Paul and I set to work. After 5 minutes of deliberation, we had our solution. Rather than spend countless seconds tearing packets of Splenda and opening tiny cups of creamer, only to then stir it with a meaningless minuscule red straw that is good for absolutely nothing but annoyance, we would combine all aspects of the coffee making process into one streamlined method. Thus the Pre-Loaded Coffee Straw was born.

In essence we take sugar and cream and insert them directly into a life sized straw and seal both ends with a disolvable substance. The next step is to insert the straw into the coffee, the coffee then dissolves the "X-Factor" which in turn allows the contents of the straw to enter in. The straw would then be large enough to stir the coffee and also gives the user the option of consuming said coffee through the straw without looking like your trying to drink a really thick milkshake. Each straw could contain different combinations of each ingredient allowing the consumer to choose one which complies to his or her liking. This would drastically reduce the amount of time needed to make your coffee not taste like coffee as well as cutting down on waste as there would only be a straw to throw away rather than 4 packets of Splenda, 3 creamers, and 6 tiny straws.

Needless to say, we saved that lonely man's life.

IDEA 2: Pootie Pants - Your Solution to Passing Gas in Public

Ever been on a date or in an important business meeting and you feel a growing pressure in the pit of your stomach? It starts to rumble. You know what's coming. A decision. Your options are limited and risky at best. The more you hold that feeling in, the worse the repercussions will be. The gradual cramping that follows holding back fart after dreadful fart only intensifies with the passing minutes. You pray that the muscles in your butt will be strong enough to not let anything slip out. You start to sweat and think irrationally. Do you risk utter embarrassment by letting it out bit by bit just hoping it will be silent and un-stinky? No! It's just not worth it. Plus, with all this built up pressure, there is no way you can keep it under wraps. It's only then that you awake to find yourself surrounded by people hovering over you as you slowly realize that you passed out. You panic not knowing what happened in your state of unconsciousness. And in your panic you hear what you have been dreading. Whoa! Wait a second! But it's too late. Everyone gasps in disbelief, you hear a handful of people snickering in the background. As you feel your face begin to redden, you accept the fact that you have just experienced the worst moment of your life.

It's a situation that we find ourselves in much too often. However, the problem has not been properly addressed. In all the years of pooting, no one has really sat down to find a solution. Perhaps because the sound brings joy to males of all ages. It is universally funny and needs to exist in nature. But its only funny from the third party perspective when your standing in front of hundreds of people giving a lecture on the harmful effects of CO2 pollution in the atmosphere. Fortunately, when it comes to a dilemma such as this, we excel.

Pootie Pants gives you the ease and comfort of normal underwear with the added Pootie Protection. Embedded in the fabric is a carbon filter that keeps you cool and dry as well as letting you rip one anytime you want without the distinct smell that accompanies each person's individuality. Because you have the freedom of not embarrassing yourself with the production of a rancid odor, you are able to stay relaxed, thus producing the silent poots you so desire. Therefore both embarrassing elements (sound and smell) of a fart are subdued, so you can make it to the end of the night where you're only met by a more embarrassing moment as you go in for a kiss only to be rejected and have rain start pouring down on you as you come to find that your car has a flat. Hey, at least you smell great!

The iCar

Since the beginning of time, people have constantly been trying to come up with things that would help make their lives easier. Perfect examples are the wheel, electronic ab belt, and the slap chop. Really, just watch any infomercial. In this day and age, technology provides us with an even greater medium in which to create even more convenience. Sure, if you want to be a “non-conformist” you can pull a Spencer Pratt and not be “connected”. But what fun is that? If Amish life were enjoyable, they would accompany more than .0006% (actual statistic) of the U.S. population.

So let’s take a look at music. Everyone loves it, in some form or another. It is universal. It has been around since forever. It brings joy to the lives of babies, the middle aged, and elderly alike. It encompasses all genres and it’s only natural that there has been such a movement to make music portable. As we all know, Apple has revolutionized how and where we listen to music with the iPod, but it’s still missing a huge market. Think of where people take their jamz the most… 1) Exercising, 2) Car. Of course it seems like those aren’t areas of concern since you can rock your pod with you during both, but we think a little outside the box.

My idea is to cut out the middle man when it comes to listening to music in our cars. Why should I have to take my ipod into my car everytime I want to listen to my iTunes? The answer, I shouldn’t because, as everyone knows, that can be such a hassle. Everything these days is wireless anyways. Hell I saw a trapeze act last week that didn’t use wires (only a couple people died), but the trend is either wireless, Bluetooth, or some other form of technology without wires.

It’s really simple and I’m not sure why it hasn’t been done yet. This program takes your iTunes and stores it in your car. Plenty of cars nowadays have some form of media screen/storage in them so it doesn’t make sense why this hasn’t been done. If you download that new MGMT album or Tiny Dancer and you press the sync car button, it syncs the car with your iTunes. It comes up as any other option would. AM, FM, Tape, SAT, CD, iTunes. You can even fix the presets on your computer or play by genre. Got some little brats in your backseat that won’t shut their holes unless Sponge Bob or Hannah Montana is on? Well thank goodness you downloaded a couple shows and synced them to your car.

Let’s highlight some of the most obvious benefits that this idea would entail…

1. No need to worry about recharging your iPod. The car has everything built in, so on those long road trips you can listen for days.
2. Access to video. Like I said before, just sync it up and let it play through the TV in your ballin’ minivan.
3. The ability to get new music on the go. So, unless I am mistaken, there are cell phones now that can hear a song that’s playing, figure out what it is, and provide you with the info. Let’s add that to the list of what this baby can do. What if you are listening to the radio and hear a song you really like but don’t have? Just press the button and find the song. The best part is that you could then download it straight to your car. This gets a little involved, so bare with me. You’ve got to have wifi in your car to do this, which can’t be far away from happening, especially if something like this takes off. All you have to do is press download and when you pull in the driveway and connect to the iCar, it automatically downloads to your iTunes. So if you’re not at home or don’t have a connection when you hear that new Ke$ha track, just pull into any fine Krystal establishment and use their free wifi hotspot to download it.

We could even get Tiger Woods to fully endorse this because everyone knows, the night he wrecked his Escalade, he was actually looking down at his iPod. But, of course, Apple didn’t want to get blamed for the biggest star athlete getting injured so they fabricated another story. You have to hand it to them, they go all out.

Did you think I was done? No way! This idea has about 500 more things you could do with it. Audio books would become more popular than Grey’s Anatomy (can you believe that finale! I can’t believe he got shot! OMG!!!). All you 16 year olds that listen to that “rap crap” are probably asking, “But what if my parents drive my car?” Well, first off, screw you for having a nice enough ride that has this feature but second, we have an app for that. Just put your passcode on it which will block any inappropriate songs from playing unless it is typed in. It’s like a reverse parental control. Hey…That’s what mom and dad get for buying you a 2011 Infinity G37.

Since the people at Apple are greedy bastards, someone trying to push this idea outside of the company walls would end up being more controversial than a Maury “Is he the father?” episode. Well here is a quick solution. Just have a 30 second commercial run after every 4th or 5th song or after 15 or 20 minutes (if you’re the Carson Daly type that can’t listen to a full song). I definitely ripped this idea from Pandora but who really cares?

We could keep going but we don’t want Steve Jobs reading this and making money off us. So make sure not to tell him about it next time you see him. Remember to keep your ideas rolling in and one of them might just be Borderline Genius worthy.

A Little Dash of Brilliance... Online Style

This gem comes from the borderline genius mind of Noah Grove from Nashville. Thanks Noah, for helping make our society a little better.

Ask yourself... "What makes eBay and craigslist so successful?" Well, there are many reasons. Too many to actually answer that question, though. However, I have been able to use this question for the purposes of this brilliant idea. Although they both have tons of useful possibilities associated with them, people don´t always want or need to BUY things. That is the major flaw associated with these sites. So how do we fix that? Simple... RentMeNow.com (domain name currently on backorder)

There are gobs of things that people don´t need to buy but need to use or have nonetheless at some point in their lives. Imagine a time when you needed a tool for some stupid school project growing up but didn't have it and didn't know anyone who did. Or think about that time when you wanted a Halloween costume but you were broke and couldn't afford to buy one. This solves ALL of those two problems and then some!!! We just want to bring the people what they want... And that´s why we've brought them RentMeNow.com. But seriously, I know you have at some point found yourself forking over some of your hard earned dough for some piece of crap you only are going to use a couple times. At RentMeNow.com, ANYONE can post ANYTHING at ANY price for ANY length of time (outside of prostitution, of course). Think of it as eBay having an illegitimate child with craigslist, who then grows up refusing to conform to the way its parents are. Meanwhile, the site takes a certain percentage of all transactions and makes bank. While the site will be making a buttload, users will be saving money like never before, and that´s the beauty of it. Not only are they cutting out the middle man and getting the lowest rental price, but they are getting an even lower price because they are only renting it. Clearly, the site would need to be organized by location, because I´m certainly not going to rent a lawnmower from across the country. And customers would be allowed to underbid the posted price (think "Best Offer"), and sellers would decide whether or not to accept. It would definitely revolutionize the online marketplace. Think of the possibilities. It's a one stop shop for anything you could ever think about renting. Be it a Time Share in Acapulco or a cover band for that ill party you're throwing next Saturday, you can find it here.

So yeah... You need a hedgetrimmer for the day? We got it. You want the best price on DVD rentals? We got that, too. Forgot you needed some kick-ass speakers, tables, and chairs for said party next Saturday? It goes without saying. You can have it all (for a short period of time) at RentMeNow.com!

Hoop Dreams

Sorry for the break, but we have decided to start posting a new idea once every week. Since I am publishing this on a Friday, Friday will be the weekly date (unless, of course, the readers decide otherwise).

This is an idea that needs to happen, but sadly it is 6 years too late for us. Back in the spring of 2003, we decided that we needed some good basketball games to get us through the summer. We posted what could best be described as a "Want Ad" on CoachT.com (a Tennessee high school athletics message board) trying to get any numbers of good players around town, even if it meant looking like a homo asking for a random dudes number at a prom. Anyway, one thing led to another and the next thing we knew, we basically were playing a Nashville All Star game 3 times a week. No offense to the great players that did not get to participate with us. After a few weeks we quickly realized we had roughly 12 or so really good players that were at every pick up game. And the best part about this crew was that we were able to keep our summer games going for 3 years. By the end of the final summer, the core group of guys could play together blind folded. We knew tendencies, passing angles, and even could read each others thoughts simply by making eye contact. Sure we weren’t coached, but we could play against teams with much better talent and they could not beat us. During the time we spent together, we did not realize just exactly what we had stumbled upon. When all was said and done, we just had a great time and still remain friends until this very day.

With all of that said, here is the idea. I have talked about this with a few of the players and this is what we came up with: Choose a smaller college (think D3 or NAIA with a crappy team and a terrible record that has nothing to lose) and go to the coach and make a deal with him to take all 12 of the players over the next 3 years. Granted, some of the players could probably go to a better, possibly higher level college, while others (me) usually wouldn’t be able to play at that level. In the end, the coach gets to have a team of players who genuinely like playing with each other, a team that plays very well together, and individuals who know their roles. If you have read The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons, you know he argues that team chemistry is a huge part of being successful, and I agree. I believe this could have been a huge success as well as a great time. Would a coach go for this? Who knows... but if someone has a kid in middle school that loves basketball, try and force him into this experiment. Would be fun to know how it turns out.

Rapucation

Here at BGI, Inc. we strive to be leaders toward the betterment of our civilization (new mission statement?). Yes it's true that Ahop and I alone have countless great ideas which border on insane brilliance, but we remain humble enough to know that there is a world of untapped potential out there. From its conception, we wanted this blog to be a place where anyone's ideas could be spread with no discrimination to hair color, physical stature, or even shoe size. We cannot express the amount in which we value our readers, but we value even more the contributions that you guys can make. With that being said, I present to you our first Celebrity Post (because in our eyes you are all celebrities). This one is special. Not only because it is the first of what might be many, but for the fact that it comes from the one and only, the man, the myth, the legend... my dad. Without further adieu, Rapucation!

Here's a borderline genius idea for those of you youngn's still in school and discouraged about your future. Have you ever been sitting in a classroom during final exams, knowing deep down inside you were going to fail? Well, you're not alone. There you are, praying for a D minus, because instead of studying the night before you were actually spending time at the local disco establishment (ie. at da club). Precious seconds tick away on the clock while you rack your brain for an answer that just isn't there.

"Question #13. Name every human body organ and its function."... tick, tick, tick

Well, I have the answer. No, not the answer to the test question, stupid! The answer to this country's declining educational system. It's called rap music. Yes, that's right... rap music. How many of you can recite the lyrics of today's most popular rap songs? Probably most of you, right? That's because rap music makes you smarter... everyone knows that. So, here's the idea... the United States Dept. of Education needs to implement rap music as the foundational building block for teaching every subject taught in school. Reading, Writing, Rithmitic... all taught via the lyrics of rap music. Ideally, President Obama would incorporate into the healthcare plan, stimulus plan, whatever plan, a budget to hire professional rappers in place of teachers. The rap lyrics they write would allow students to quickly and easily memorize everything from history to calculus (proper english being the one exception). Final exams, previously associated with anxiety and dread, would become a time of song and dance (albeit, pole dancing). Just imagine... you're sitting at a red light and begin to feel the thumping bass of approaching sub-woofers. As an $800 hooptie with $3000 chrome spinners pulls up next to you, windows down, the golden gleam of the driver's teeth catching your eye, you suddenly realize that the music you hear is not filled with the usual degenerate lyrics, but instead something that any school principal would be proud of...

(rapped to the beat of your favorite, hardcore rap song)...

I'm a hardcore gansta but don't let my looks fool ya'
Cuz I is quite educated and I'm about to school ya'
Wit a list of human organs and every body part
Like the ice-cold blood flowin' from my gansta heart...

Okay, I realize that sucks pretty bad and is a terrible example but you get the point, right? That's why our tax dollars are needed to pay the professionals. So, Mr. President, take a lesson from Kanye... it is time to wrestle the microphone of education out of the hands of the conservative establishment and give it to the people who truly know how to lead the next generation into the future.... Lil Wayne & Eminem. No longer will Americans live in the shadow of Asia's intellect! I predict that in just a few short years, Americans will, once again, be the smartest PLAYA's on the planet. If you're with me on this, say YOOOOO!

The Next Snuggie

First and foremost, I want to give a shout out to Ahop as he has so humbly and generously taken the reins over the past month or two and has kept this blog alive. I cannot say enough about his dedication to this business. I, in my laziness, have been watching from the sidelines. However, I am back with a vengeance and a renewed confidence to make millions... nay, hundreds of millions of dollars from this thing and the ideas associated with it. Forgive me for my absence, but I can assure you it will be worth it. With that being said, we shall begin.

I'm a hot guy. Quite literally. I sometimes think that my body runs at a higher temperature than most. Whether it be from my studly chest hair or some pre-existing condition that I don't know about is another question. This has led me to spend countless summer nights tossing and turning, all the while sweating profusely as I have not always had the luxury of central heat and air. Fortunately, I have come up with a wonderful and practical solution. And just for fun here is my sales pitch with a tribute to a legend...

"Hi, Billy Mays here!!! for the Frosty Fleece, the easy way to find comfort during the hot summer weather. Are you tired of sleepless nights, constantly flipping to the cool side of the pillow in search of relief? (cut to people struggling immensely in bed with looks of severe anguish on their faces, then a shot of a bed covered in sweat) Well, here's your solution! The Frosty Fleece is a blanket that can and will keep you cool! Just throw it in the fridge for ten minutes and enjoy the comfort of a blanket without the heat! Wait, you would rather be warm??? Don't throw it in the fridge and the Frosty Fleece serves as a regular blanket, keeping you comfy and toasty!

Available in 3 wonderful colors, this product is not only functional but fashionable as well! You don't need a cabinet full of blankets!!! Just one Frosty Fleece can keep you cool or warm for hours on end! Free up closet space, add style to your couch, impress the neighbors! You can do it all with the Frosty Fleece! The secret is in the gel inserts which not only last but are washing machine, dishwasher, and microwave safe!

Call now and receive not one but eight Frosty Fleece's for your entire extended family all for the price of one!!! Also, we'll throw in 2 tickets to that thing you love!

Wait, that last bit was from the wrong commercial, but I digress. So we have a catchy name (Frosty Fleece) for a product that could easily catch on. I feel like this thing could be a goldmine so much so that I actually drew up a prototype as I was sitting here. Took me about 2 and a half minutes. So here's what I got so far:


As you can see, there is a gel insert that winds throughout the blanket which is then stitched in between two layers of fabric. I think if the gel strip is thin enough, it wouldn't hinder the mobility (we want to avoid a blanket that is stiff and rigid) and comfort of the blanket but it would still keep it cool. It's like those eye masks you wear at night but way better. The two big problems I think that would crop up would be 1) Mobility and comfort 2) How long it would stay cold. If those two problems were addressed and resolved, there is no stopping this thing from making a butt-load of money.

There are so many reasons that this would work that if it were made it would have to work. The more I type, the more I want to go try to make one. And since I just got a bomb ass tax refund, I might just do that. Snuggies ain't got nothin' on the Frosty Fleece.

Reader's Input

Thank you to all our readers out there. This is the reason we started this blog, for you the people. We love all the people that have become followers, and the people that joined our facebook group [http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=111947515488350]. We just want you to know that we have read every comment, email, and idea that comes to us from everyone.

Most of you read the post once and don't ever look at the comments. That is fine, since there have been few comments. Because of this, we have decided to post any comments or emails that come in that could help our ideas or blog be better. We would love to get to the point where we have one big blog showing all the comments.

This first one was written about our Bad Breathalyzer post by Courtney from Knoxville:

Here's an addition to your slightly-pirated but still awesome idea. How about rather than just giving you a measurement telling you how easy it would be for your breath to kill a small dog, the machine also gave you a dose of bacteria killing, stank-neutralizing, mouthwash type substance based on the severeness of you halitosis. That way the bad breathalyser becomes a helpful tool - not to mention that it would become a late night girl/guy pickup requirement and make you (and me of course) millionaires.

Thanks Courtney for your input and we will be glad to share some of the profits with you as soon as we get the Bad Breathalyzer out on the market.

Thanks again to all the readers and I am off to GTL (Gym Tan Laundry for all the haters)!

Drink, Don't Drive, Do the....

Celebrities seem to think they are untouchable when it comes to laws that the rest of us lowly humans must abide by. Then again if Kobe came up to me and told me to drop my panties... Too soon?

Anyways, coming from the very prestigious university that produces athletes that like to see who can one up the other in the criminal world, I decided to capitalize on this. Some of you losers might say, "Why don't we just ask them to not steal, do drugs, kill people, and not to covet." I'll tell you why, cause that is like telling Pauly D and The Situation not to go to the gym, tanning bed and do laundry. It's like telling republicans not to take donors to strip clubs. It's like telling Jim not to love Pam. Some things just never change.

What exactly is this idea? It is simple really: A DUI preventative nationwide company.

Here is how it works. Celebrity X gets a call from his/her friend, "Hey come have a drink before you hit the hay." Celeb X meets them, and one beer leads to 10 beers, 8 shots, and maybe an illegal drug or two. Well Celeb X has a badass car and thinks, "I can't leave my Maybach here, I think I'm straight to drive." Next thing you know Celebrity X has their mug shot flying all over the internet.

But wait, from the Abe Hop Borderline Genious Ideas, the Celebrity DUI prevention firm. In New York? L.A.? Miami? Doesn't matter. We are nation wide company. We will let people sign up in pairs (or can pair people up) in major cities. Have checks to make sure you are over 21 and no major traffic violations or criminal activities. Once we have enough people signed up, it is similar to substitute teaching set up. The Celebrity calls our center and tells the operator where they are. The operator then contacts the pair and they head off in one car to pick up the celebrity and their car and drive it home for them. The celebrities can set up an account in advanced, that way they call in and give their pin and we have everything already on record and ready to go.

Will this be expensive? You bet ya. That is why this is only for the rich and famous. Now call up Mel Gibson and ask him if he would have paid top dollar for this service.

The Best of Fast Food

Sorry for the long breaks, but we like to conduct our blog like the NCAA likes to conduct its men's basketball tournament. With this blog, we want to try and stay as close to our wheel house as possible. That being said we will usually be writing about basketball, or any sport, and... FOOD. We really love food. All types of food: bad for you, good for you, fast food, sit down, homemade, foreign, etc.

This next idea, while not long in its quantity, I hope I will make up for in quality. We would like to start a chain of sit down restaurants made up of the best of fast food places. We decided to name it Best Of. The idea is very simple, yet delicious. The menu would look like any other sit down restaurant, only with items from fast food places. It would be fairly cheap, maybe only a dollar or two more than at the actual fast food restaurant. I think the easiest way to express this is to give you a preview of the menu.

Appetizers: Number is price


Pizza Hut Bread sticks (order of 8) 5

Arby's Loaded Potato Bites (order of 10) 5

Chick-fil-A Chicken Strips (order of 8) 7

Sandwhiches:

Burger King Whopper 6

Back Yard Burger Bacon Cheeseburger 7

Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwhich 8

Chick-fil-A Original Chicken Sandwhich 7

Firehouse Hook n Ladder 6

Arby's Beef n Cheddar 7

Other

Taco Bell's Tacos (3) 5

Chick-fil-A Chicken Nuggets (12) 6

Sonic Chicken Ranch Wrap 7

Zaxby's Chicken Strips (5) 7

Domino's Pasta Primavera Bowl 8

Sides

McDonald's French Fries 2

Arby's Curly Fries 2.5

Jack-Box Bacon Cheddar Potato Wedges 3.5

Sonic Mozzarella Sticks 4

Wendy's Chili 3

Drinks

Dunkin' Donut Iced Coffee 3

Sonic Drink (Various Flavors) 2.5

Fountain Drink 2

Desserts

Dunkin' Donut or Krispy Kreme Donut 1

Wendy's Frosty 2

Hardee's Milk Shake 3

McDonald's Apple Pie 1

As you can see this is definitely right up America's alley. Please email us or leave a comment to help complete the menu. If we get enough feedback we will come out with a full fledged menu.

Train Ride

In the hustle and bustle of today's society, people get so caught up in getting places fast, that they forget that the trip itself can be enjoyed and reveled in. Let's slow life down for a second and take a quick walk down memory lane... Remember the days of top hats, walking 10 miles uphill both ways to get to school, and saying words like "whence" and "erstwhile"? Of course not because that was like 100 years ago. But don't all of those things just sound really cool? What if you could say stuff like that? Well, here at BGI Inc., we have a nice little solution of combining the past and the present.

There are certain activities that I have found in which a majority of people like to participate in. Included in these are traveling, partying, mingling, eating, sleeping, etc. In an attempt to incorporate all of these things, we decided that it would be a good idea to take a train ride across America. Although none of what was previously said had any bearing on our decision. As with most of our ideas, it began with us sitting around watching TV at Ahop's place. At the time, he was living next to some train tracks. So, naturally , it was suggested that, in an attempt to escape our somewhat crappy boring lives, we should just hop on the train like hobos and just go wherever it takes us.

That quickly evolved into the question of whether or not passenger trains still existed and, if so, what it would cost and how awesome it would be to take one on vacation. It quickly became a reality when we found out that passenger trains do exist. I became more excited than the time Maury said the DNA tests find Anthony Hopkins is NOT the father, only to have that ecstasy be yanked away just as quickly as it entered. This idea is probably the one we actually took significant time to research and try to make work.

After about an hour from the conception of this idea, we had devised a nice little trip that would take us to the likes of New Orleans, L.A., and Chicago over a span of about two and a half months. The possibilities were endless. Disneyland, Bourbon Street, Chicago style pizza, Bill Simmons, Oprah. These were all suddenly in play. We would stay in each city for a week or two and then hop back on the train to our next wonderful destination. We would be modern day Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer living up life and experiencing the world in a whole new way, while getting into some mischievous adventures. Maybe we could even write a blog (not nearly as popular then) or have some sort of book with lots of pictures. Unfortunately, like most of our ideas, it kind of died when we realized that the travel time between locales was measured in days and the fact that it was surprisingly expensive to travel via rail.

The nostalgia behind this makes it appealing. Plus, you get to feel like you are a character in a black and white movie. So if you happen to have a couple thousand bucks and a couple of months to kill, email us, sign up to blog about it and let's find you some places to stay in these areas.

Pickup Basketball for Dummies

Other than Chicken Soup for the [fill in the blank] Soul (my favorite is Chicken Soup for the Scrapbooker's Soul), there has been no better line of books than the for Dummies line. They bring a lot of useful information to people who have a general idea of what they are doing, but could still use a little direction.

Another problem I run into in my day to day operation is basketball, and more specifically, pick up basketball. I have played with many different people and it seems like each person has played by a different set of rules at some point or another.

Through the combination of no certain set of rules and the brilliant line of for Dummies, Borderline Genius Ideas brings you Pick up Basketball for Dummies. We will now give you some of the rules from the book.

Chapter 1: Scoring

Is there any other sport where if you play pick up the scoring changes completely? Almost everyone who plays pick up basketball has played by 1's and 2's. Are we the only ones who think this is as dumb as Kate's ability to track pretty much anything through the jungle when she has no training, other than Locke telling her that a certain broken limb is a dummy trail? Can people not count by 2's and 3's? Did 3rd graders play the first game and decide going by ones and twos was easier? The only time you should not go by 2's and 3's is when there is no 3 point line and you only can play by 2's, which never happens. People at the TREC, I guess, were not intelligent enough to realize playing to 18 by 2's and 3's actually makes for shorter games than 1's and 2's to fifteen. Plus, why doesn't anyone ever mention that this gives a huge advantage to 3 point shooters?

Play by 2's and 3's to 24 or if more than 5 people are waiting for the next game play to 18.

Chapter 4: Confusing Rules

What's a kick ball? Is the top of the backboard out of bounds? Should there be back court violations? Should you play by high school rules? NCAA? NBA? NJCAA?

This is where the book comes in handy. Everyone plays by our rules.

• Kick Ball: If the ball touches any part of your leg right above the ankle or below, it is a kick and the ball is rewarded to the other team.

• Back Court Violation: Just like any other league, once the ball crosses half court, it can not cross back over without the ball being tipped or hit or possessed by the opposing team.

• And One: When one player shoots the ball and gets fouled, if the ball goes in the basket, it is good. No exception. The basket counts and the ball changes possession and the game goes on.

Chapter 12: Conflict Resolution

There are always going to be those guys who believe they are never wrong. This usually results in 5 minutes of everyone wasting time and getting nowhere. Rather than concede, they will stubbornly defend their position until more mature players give in for the sake of time. It's a simple fix. Thanks to Rasheed Wallace, we all no the ball doesn't lie. So if a dispute isn't resolved within a minute or so, the offensive player involved in the dispute gets to shoot for it. If they make it, they get the ball back but if they miss they turn it over to the other team. Simple as that.

Chapter 15: End of the Game Exceptions

You know what really grinds my gears? At the end of a pickup game that is close, a team that is behind, while the other team is on game point (to score one basket they win), decides instead of accepting the fact of a loss, they decide to foul on everything. This usually ends in a 5 minute fight. Here is an easy fix. If a team has game point and the following occurs in the same possession, follow these rules: if the other team A) fouls once, give the ball back to the team B) fouls twice, if the second foul is on the ground, give the ball back to the team, but if the foul occurs during a shot, that player gets a free throw to win the game. C) fouls for a third time, the team with the ball gets to choose a player to shoot a free throw to win the game. If a free throw is missed the defense gets the ball.

With this handy rulebook, YMCA's, student recreation centers, and any other places pickup games occur will have a defined set of rules, hopefully minimizing arguments and increasing overall pleasure to those participating.

If anyone would like to help us publish this book, give us more rules, or any other suggestions, please email us at Abe.Hop@gmail.com.

Editor's Note

With some of the ideas that we have, there are bound to be a few out there already. When we write one of these posts, we usually assume no one has developed the idea.

Unfortunately, we did not check before posting our last idea. Because Abe is a very hard worker and researcher (and has a lot of time on his hands), we escaped a huge lawsuit risk and the eventual collapse of our blog. Now we will continue our climb to a million dollar blog. Thanks for your continued support.

*Sorry to http://tinyurl.com/yl35jqq for any misunderstanding.*

The Bad Breathalyzer

Anyone who knows me knows that I am pretty lazy. Whereas some people can be lazy but maintain their good hygiene, I am not one of them. In fact, I have some very impressive records (at least in my mind) when it comes to my lack of hygiene. If you would like to know what these are, just shoot me an e-mail and I will be glad to inform you of some of the accomplishments that could easily make someone gag.

Abe is a little different from me when it comes to this topic. He keeps himself more maintained by often showering while making sure to clean behind his ears. I bring this up because, even though we all have differences in our personal maintenance routines, we all have one thing in common: none of us like to smell bad. So this idea was essentially inspired out of my laziness in an attempt to benefit me while at the same time finding a shortcut to make it happen.

I'm not quite sure how long ago the personal portable breathalyzer was introduced into the homes of partiers in America, but if you have ever run across one of these, it instantly becomes the "it" thing at the party. This little contraption can also turn the night into an alcohol competition as dudes try to set the record for highest BAC. (I can neither confirm nor deny Matt McAuley has participated in or won said "competition") Fortunately, I have been able to take this idea, modify it a little, and present the final product for the benefit of all mankind.

I give you... the Bad Breathalyzer. Everyone has had those times when we talked to someone whose breath smelled like they ate dog poop and then threw it back up in their mouth, but didn't really bother to do anything about it. The one who you think, "Maybe if I make him eat this onion, I will be able to stand his breath long enough not to dry heave". Perhaps this is because there is no surefire way to check your own breath. Of course it's embarrassing to ask someone to do it for you as you risk the humiliation that would ensue if your breath be raunchy. And sure... everyone goes to the "breathe in my hand and smell it" option, but as we all know that is completely bogus. So that leaves our society with a need. And that is what this device is able to satisfy. In the early stages of development, aka the "we've come up with the idea but aren't smart enough to actually create it" stage, what we have is more or less the same as a normal breathalyzer. The catch is that, instead of telling you how high your BAC is, it tells you how bad your breath is. Pretty damn impressive.

A lot of examples show that the simplest ideas can often be the best ones, and this fits the mold. By taking something that's already out there and making it ours, we can get the most acknowledgment and credibility for the least amount of work and effort. Pretty much Abe and I's goal in life. I have yet to figure out how this machine is going to work, specifically, but I'm sure a brilliant scientist could knock it out in about 35 minutes.

So we need some feedback from all of our readers. What do we use for the gauge? Do we go with the classic left to right meter (think speedometer with horrible breath on one end and great breath on the other)? Do we make it more concrete like a pregnancy test that gives you a plus or minus sign? Or even like a magic 8 ball (funny slogans like "brush yo teef" and "eat an entire mint plant and retry")? Or do we rip off the current breathalyzer even more and just go with the numerical scale? I feel like this is definitely a borderline genius idea but we need some help pushing it across to genius. Hopefully as we witness this idea come to fruition, we will be able to also launch a line of under arm and full body scent detectors. The possibilities are endless, at least when it comes to being stinky.

Please feel free to e-mail feedback to abe.hop@gmail.com or just leave a comment in the box below.

Can Anyone Spare Some Change?

Ahop and I like to think of ourselves as decent people although we probably aren't. I guess it really just depends on who you ask. However, a few years ago we hatched a plan that would solidify our rank among the world's elite humanitarians (watch your back Brangelina).

Our idea was simple and poorly thought out but altogether altruistic. The premise was this... we would choose a homeless person based solely on appearance (i.e. thick beard, great can collection) and house him for a month or so. We then tell him that there are 2 rules and that's it. Rule 1: Don't steal our TV, bull and matador, or the money black and white Marilyn Monroe poster. Rule 2: No drugs in our apartment. Other than that we would basically adopt him like we were prominent Ole Miss Alums and he was a future NFL draft pick. We would feed him, clothe him, and party with him (obvi).

After a week or so, we would take him to Mickey D's or somewhere and help him get a job. We would house him for enough time to get cleaned up, working, and back on his feet, all the while becoming our new best friend. We could later parlay this whole experience into a book deal or movie. Our outlook on this whole matter was that we were giving someone an opportunity to completely revamp their life. In essence, we would be his plane crash back to the island.

Of course, there would need to be a defined amount of time for all of this to take place because, let's be honest, we can only take in a psycho street runner for so long. Once the time was up they had to go. So it was ultimately up to them to seize the opportunity that we were providing. Hell, I would have taken him to class if he wanted to learn (better yet he could just go to class and take notes for me). We would be giving him the chance to turn his life around but even if he wanted to just kick it for a month, fine by us. At least they got a place to sleep for a little while. Also, we would be getting a new buddy on the streets and not to mention some very valuable street cred.

Although great, this idea came with a lot of negatives. From what I hear, a lot of homeless people are schizo's, so it may not have been in our best interest to follow through on it. Then again, if Ronnie assumed Sammie Sweetheart was property of the Situation, we would have never been able to see their beautiful romance unfold. Add to that the fact that our new homeless pal might have ganked something awesome from our sick Chapman Square bachelor pad (see above, also a miniature totem pole) and we would have been in a world of trouble.

Best case scenario, we help a man get his life back together, he becomes a good friend and roomie (maybe even cooks for us), we get some killer stories of the street, the news of us spreads national, we win the Nobel Peace Prize, get on Oprah, and become millies. At this point, we have done enough good that we could basically be the worst people on earth and would still be viewed as great men. It is safe to say that, although we never followed through with it, we were at least kind hearted enough to come up with an idea to try to help a brother in need.

Worst case scenario, we both get robbed and killed. Even though people would say it was stupid, they would still have to amit that it was all for a good cause. We would go down as great men and would have a fund in our names.

That is one hell of a win-win if you ask me. So if you ever think, "No one has any idea who I am and I mean nothing to the world", follow through with this little gem of an idea and be ready to get rich or get dead.

Professional Volleyballas?

Here is a question to ponder… If you were to take 1 year off and train hardcore during that entire year for one specific thing, how great could you get? I know Abe and I have thought about it. Surely other people have too.

Abe and I believed that if we took a full year off from everything and trained nonstop in beach volleyball, that we could become professionals. If you do not know me or Abe, I am 6’1 ¾ “ and built like James Posey with the athleticism of an average white male, while Abe in his hay day was 6’5”, built like Mike Piazza (circa ’98), and is an above average athlete.

Here are some pros for this thought: At the time we were both young and in fairly good shape, had nothing better to do than dedicate every minute of our lives to it (eat, sleep, and breathe beach volleyball), we work and communicate very well with each other, and we both tan great (semi homo).

And then there are the cons: No previous training in volleyball, no source of income to hire trainer, and I hate getting sand in my butt crack.

Obviously, we didn’t do it or we would be multi-millionaires with huge endorsements while being the face of U.S. beach volleyball, living in Florida or Cali, and bagging lots of Roxy surfer chicks like Adrian Grenier.

Anyone think there is a shot in hell we don't succeed?

How To: Make it to the NBA with limited athleticism

Many of us consider ourselves athletes. Well, more like former athletes at this point, but I digress. For those of us who are enamored with the sport of basketball, we think of the NBA as an unreachable goal that only exists in our dreams. But is it really that hard to get to the NBA?

Consider this... the league is made up of a bunch of ridiculous athletes and very solid role players. What roles do those guys play? Usually it's something very simple. Take Bruce Bowen for example. He plays defense and shoots corner 3's. It's honestly all he does. Yet he's lasted. So my idea for those up and comers who may not be as blessed as our African American friends, find your niche. Perfect the corner 3. Master the hook shot. Hell, I don't understand why no one has just become money from half court. I really feel like that would open everything up for those said super athletes which could revolutionize basketball as we know it. That is as long as you can play lock down defense on a 6'10" guy with a 40" vertical who can rain jumpers from anywhere on the court.

Posture...

Some people make New Year's resolutions around the end of the year. Abe and Ahop do it a little different, like August.

One year we were sitting around and thought, "[Our generation] has terrible posture. We look like a bunch of idiots and hunch backs. Since so many people look up to us and think we are awesome, let's start a new trend." Or something like that...

So we went to work, standing up straight, sitting up straight, and telling other slackers to straighten up. We felt 3 inches bigger (no homo), more manly, and more distinguished. Did this idea last? Of course not. We are very lazy, but we wanted to share a very basic idea that some of you probably said, "Hey I did that once before too."

More complex, closer to genius ideas to come.

What We're About

Let's get philosophical... Ideas come and go throughout our lives, but many go unnoticed or just are not acted upon. Sometimes this is due to a lack of time and money, but usually it's just that you don't really care enough to follow through with them (the majority in our case). So that's how we came up with this idea. Why not create a place where people can post their ideas in harmony with ours and see if we can somehow better society.

We are two guys that have had plenty of those moments where we thought, "Dude... that's a good idea!" but they rarely panned out. So we will post all of the ideas that we can remember having and see if we can get responses on them. This is exactly what the internet was created for, right?

Please feel free to write, email, or comment and share those ideas that you have had that made you say, "That is such a good idea!" If it is good enough (and we have low standards) we will post it, obviously giving you credit. We are not into stealing your credit for ingenious ideas.